I have a story and I will try to make it short.
I married Sean while in HS to get away from my mother. I was stupid to get pregnant by him. I should have left him before this. He refused to come to any OB appts, didn’t have anything to do with the pregnancy, picked fights with me constantly. He was at least there for the birth. But after that, I couldn’t get him to do ANYTHING for our son. Even when I had emergency surgery when our son was 4 weeks old, he wouldn’t take care of him or even bring him to the hospital so I could nurse him. I moved in with my mother so that I could get some actual help.
I learned several times that there were women who said he was sleeping with them. I ignored it. Even one woman said she was pregnant by him. I do believe there is a child out there that is his while we were married. I even learned when I kicked him out for his crappy behavior that he slept with his “best friend” Kristina. Why did I kick him out? Because he wanted to “go into work” 4 hours before his shift. Oh and he didn’t want to get a job beyond a waiter.
He finally does get a better job, joining the Navy. He did this before telling me. He went off to boot camp and A-School. When I went to pick him up, it had been 2 months since I saw him last. Yeah, he couldn’t perform. I find out later it was because he had a girlfriend in A-School. But none of this is the worst part of all.
His girlfriend got my son sick. Sean decided that his girlfriend needed to meet his wife and son. That GF was a Corpsman in the Navy who had worked on someone who had Meningitis. She ended up having Pneumonia and coughing all over MY son. With 3 days my son got sick with Meningitis. The hospital I took him to (top hospital) did not treat him in time so now my son is deaf and has a brain injury. I was able to get him cochlear implants and get treatment for his brain injury but he still isn’t back to normal.
I found out the day he left for his ship that this woman I met was his girlfriend. I already knew she was the one who got him sick. That day was the worst day of my life. I dumped his butt immediately. I moved on with my life. I wasn’t perfect but I was a damn good mother to my son.
Fast forward 9 years and I have moved out west with my 2nd husband who is also in the service. We have lived out here for 4 years and Sean has yet to see his son. Even after telling him that my son’s Trust would pay for the plane ticket. I recently learned that the gift cards that Sean gave to my son for b-day and x-mas didn’t even have any money on them.
So what made me submit this? Well with my ex-”husband” being in the Navy and us just moving, I have to change my son’s primary care doctor. But I can’t do that without information from Sean. Information which he doesn’t share with me unless I ask for it. The best one? The only contact information I had was a cell phone of his 2nd wife. I do have an email address and his email through Facebook but he can’t really check those while out to sea. I tried calling his base to see what ship he is on but unless I have the ship’s name, I can’t find him.
I am done. I am so done. I removed all of our mutual friends on Facebook, blocked him from emailing me on there and depending on if he actually replies to my emails, I will block him from them too. I have given this man so much leeway when it comes to contact with MY son and he wants no part of it. The man even took me to court to fight for visitation (which he had unlimited access to him anyways) and never ONCE took it. Oh he did meet me “in the middle” for him to see my son at McDonald’s for an hour.